its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
