and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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