But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
