FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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