Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
