how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
