She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
