we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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