hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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