I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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