can u get pink eye on your cock?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
