what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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