before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
