I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
