Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
