she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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