I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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