I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You made out with two different species that night
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
