so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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