my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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