Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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