My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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