In the future we'll all be gay
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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