have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she peed on how many people?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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