i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
do herpes really smell.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
