Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
