I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
