Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
