You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
