so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
