You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
