You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
