Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
