I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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