Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
i out mim tonsoeep
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