i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
