Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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