Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
