Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
