I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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