I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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