You're completely useless in the revolution.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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