either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize