My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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