I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
