sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
