# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize