like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
