So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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