Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
