Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
