is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize