I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
