"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
