I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
