does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My boob is missing a layer of skin
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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