so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Floor bacon is actually really good
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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