Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
