Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
