i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
