I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
