Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
