i love accidental penises.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
