Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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