You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
