I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize