As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
